Alone in the Dark 2 is the kind of movie that you want to forget as soon as you finished watching it.
Right from get go, the Alone in the Dark movie was a recipe for disaster. The story didn’t make any sense, it barely had anything to do with the survival horror games, the dialogue was terrible and the B-list actors didn’t deliver those convincingly, the special effects were embarrassing to watch and to top it all off, Uwe Boll directed it. As you’d expect, the result was a trainwreck that no one enjoyed. So who wanted a sequel? I have no idea, but not even all the terrible preconceived ideas in my head prepared me for this appalling direct-to-DVD experience.
Set in New York City in the year 2005, Alone in the Dark 2 follows former witch-hunter Abner Lundberg as he tries to find an old witch who’s on the prowl again. This time around, Lundberg joins forces with a young man called Edward Carnby who also has the ability of seeing all the creatures that come out at night. Apart from witches, there are magical daggers, mirrors, ghosts, ghost-hunters, rare viruses and vivid visions which makes the story confusing and hard to keep track of.
At this point, it becomes apparent that Alone in the Dark 2 is a horrible movie that no one in their right mind should watch willingly. But apart from the abhorrent story, what makes this adaptation impossible to recommend to other human being is that horror is secondary here. Alone in the Dark 2 relies heavily on fantasy and that quickly becomes an issue: mystical objects, cult members, ghosts, old prophecies and other supernatural elements are constantly being brought up and this never stops. I felt like this movie kept introducing obscure things even near the end.
Alone in the Dark 2 also depends on a slew of cliches, so if you’re a fan of horror or fantasy, there’s nothing new to see here. A supernatural being attacks a remote house and its occupants lock themselves in and shoot everything that moves, electricity stops working during the raid and all electrical objects fail, there are constant thunderstorms while it all unfolds and the group members are killed one by one. Also, the monster (in this case, a scary ghost) lacks any sort of characteristics and while creating an ethereal being as the creature that will hunt youngsters and kill them one by one has its advantages, it’s a ghost after all, so if you never really see it or hear what it looks like, it’s hard to get scared.
There’s a lack of character development, so when the witch hunters eventually die, I couldn’t care less about it. They are introduced, they talk to each other and eventually perish. That’s their only purpose for existing. By the way, the special effects are anything but special and that’s a problem when you want to show strange apparitions. For a movie about the occult, black magic and ghosts that materialize out of thin air this is an unbearably long and boring movie.
Whenever I think video game movies can’t get any worse, something like Alone in the Dark 2 comes along and changes my mind. This is a movie so bad that it sets a new standard when it comes to dreadful films that you don’t want to mention out loud so that other people don’t make the mistake of watching it. Maybe writing a review about it defeats that point, but if you want to take away anything from this article it should be this: if at any point in your life, you watch a screen and Alone in the Dark 2 is playing, start running and don’t stop.